


Birthday Cake

by Tien



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-06
Updated: 2012-04-06
Packaged: 2017-11-03 03:34:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/376658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tien/pseuds/Tien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote this for my good friend Chibi.<br/>He actually sent me the base plot for the fic with a bit of dialogue, then I took it from there and wrote this.</p><p>It's basically a comfort story. Karkat helps John through a tough time type thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birthday Cake

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChibiEdo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibiEdo/gifts).



Days are important. Days can stand for whole things. The passing of time uses days are markers for events. There are days for holidays, days for anniversaries, days for weddings, days for births and days for deaths. The days of the year can hold so much emotion and fill the heart with joy. It can also pull down that same heart with the weight of sadness.

John Egbert is generally a cheery person. He loves to smile and make others laugh. The master prankster wants everyone to be happy and for that to happen he has to be happy as well. There are a lot of days that John is happy. His life is filled with days that make him smile and laugh and cover up the horrors of the game that gave birth to the world that he now shares with the trolls. Days mark the new world and all its events. But these same days remember events that happened a long time ago in a universe that is cold and dead.

There are many days of the year in which John Egbert smiles.

There is only one that makes him cry.

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 9:15 --

GG: hey john!  
GG: wanna hang out?  
GG: hee hee you’re taking forever to respond  
GG: ooooooohhhhh is karkat over????  
GG: joooohn?  
GG: hmmmmm it seems youre not going to come to the computer after all  
GG: the offer is still open! we can watch movies or something!!   
\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 9:32 --

John’s friends all tried to get a hold of him that day, none were successful, except for one.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] at 12:00 --

CG: HEY NOOKWHIFF READY TO GET YOUR STUPID THINKPAN FLAMED BACK INTO THE PILE OF SLUSH IT HARDENED FROM?  
CG: BECAUSE TODAY IS THE DAY I MAKE YOU FINALLY REALIZE HOW LITTLE YOU’RE WORTH AND YOU BOW TO YOUR GOD. I’M YOUR GOD, IN CASE YOU FORGOT.  
EB: karkat can we not do this today?  
CG: THE DAY JOHN EGBERT DOESN’T START A CONVERSATION WITH “HI KARKAT!” IS THE DAY THE WORLD COMES TO A SCREECHING HALT AND WE DIE IN A BURNING HELLSTORM OF DEVASTATION AND GENERAL PANIC.  
EB: karkat i’m serious. not today. can you lay off the insults and shit?   
EB: even though i know you totally don’t mean any of them.  
CG: I MEAN EVERY LAST ONE. YOU REALLY ARE A SHIT-EATING, CROTCHSTAIN THAT I CAN’T WAIT TO BEAT TO DEATH WITH YOUR OWN JOKE BOOK.   
EB: karkat!  
CG: …  
CG: FUCK SORRY JOHN.  
CG: WHAT’S WRONG?  
EB: nothing.  
CG: BULLSHIT.  
EB: really it’s nothing.  
CG: AGAIN. BULLSHIT.  
CG: I’M NOT AN IDIOT JOHN.  
EB: heh heh maybe you are!  
EB: obviously your superior troll senses can’t even pick up on the perfect happiness of a lowly human.  
EB: i’m fine, but hey, i gotta go, i’ll talk to you later or something karkat!  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 12:15 --

CG: JOHN?  
CG: FUCK. I’M COMING OVER.

Karkat was on his way out when his trollian icon flashed again. “What the hell?” He growled and went back to the screen. Not many pestered or trolled him first, especially not the icon that lit up. “Rose? What the fuck does she want with me?”

He opened the tab and started talking to her. It appeared that John hadn’t answered anyone all day. He even refused a trip to the movies and an invite to watch Con Air with Dave. Karkat was overcome with worry; John didn’t usually act like this, especially the way he spoke over pesterchum. He knew he joked with the human a lot over the computer, but he also knew they were friends, stupid ‘earth human buddies’ and the troll could tell something was very, very wrong. He bolted out the door and to John’s house.

\---

John pushed the chair away from his computer and stretched. He looked around his house, noting the sudden empty coldness it had. He shivered and grabbed a jacket, perhaps a walk could help clear his mind. He didn’t see the flashing icons on his pesterchum when he walked out of the door. 

\---

The air was brisk and the troll pulled his zipper-hoodie closer to his body and walked a bit faster. “Why the fuck does John have to live so goddamn far away?” In reality he didn’t live all that far away, Karkat made sure they were close so they could do stupid stuff like movie night. Karkat reached his house and knocked on the door. “Egbert open up!” He called through the door. The door was locked and there was no way he was going to risk breaking in and having the cops called on him. Police didn’t like dealing with trolls. They were a minority group and one that wasn’t well received in the new world. He pounded on the door again, “John I’m serious let me in!” 

He grabbed the phone out of his pocked and opened trollian mobile. “Just as I fucking thought,” the light over ectoBiologist was still on. He sat down and waited, he figured maybe the human was just having a bad day and would open the door soon. His patience was wearing thin after an hour. He glanced down at his watch and growled. “What the hell could be taking you so long to reply?” Dread filled the troll. He didn’t think John was the type to kill himself or anything, but now he was starting to get nervous. He gave him another half hour before standing up and knocking on the door again. “John open up. Please.”

“Wow Karkat! I’ve never heard you say please before.”

Karkat whirled around to see John smiling at him from the step below him. “Goddamn it John I was worried about you!”

“Why?” He moved passed the troll and unlocked the door. The troll followed him in as they made their way to the living room.

“You left the conversation so fast, but didn’t log off pesterchum.”

“Oh, I just went for a walk, really I’m ok.” He smiled and sat down. “You didn’t have to come all the way over here to check up on me, I’m fine.”

Karkat watched the boy before him. He knew John, he knew him very well. “No, you’re not,” he paused asking again softly, “what’s bothering you?”

John looked away then back, “I’m fine, just, not feeling well.”

“Oh.” Karkat took that as an acceptable answer and didn’t press any further.

As their time together grew Karkat began to wonder if he was overstaying his welcome. “I guess I’m pretty boring to be with today huh? You can leave if you want.”

The troll looked over at John, who still looked so miserable. “Do you want me to leave?” He asked quietly.

John hesitated before speaking, “…No. I just didn’t want to bother you.”

“Then I’ll stay.” He moved to the couch where John was sitting and put his hand on the boy’s forehead carefully. “You don’t feel like you have a fever? Are you sure you’re ok? Is it a migraine?” 

“I dunno maybe,” He got up and moved towards the hallway, “I’m going to take a nap; you can stay here and sit on my computer if you want. I mean you did walk all the way here.”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll check on you before I leave.” Karkat took the boy’s offer and moved to his computer on the desk. There were several pesterchum notifications awaiting his attention. Karkat was going to answer them and tell them John was ok, he just had a headache when he saw something else flash in the corner of the screen. It was a calendar notice. He opened it, it was today’s date.

“Dad’s Birthday” Was what the reminder said.

“Oh.” Karkat closed the blinking icon and got up; quietly he walked to John’s room and opened the door.

John wasn’t sleeping; instead he was curled in a ball facing the wall. Tears were slowly leaking from his eyes. He went stiff when he felt movement on his bed that wasn’t his and a body press against him. Strong arms wrapped around his midsection and a warm voice spoke in his ear. “I’m sorry John. I’m so sorry.”

He nodded and tried wiping the tears from his face, but they wouldn’t stop. “K-Karkat…”

“I saw the calendar notice on your computer.” The troll nuzzled his back, “You must miss him so much.”

“I do…” John pressed his face into the blankets and sobbed a little. “Karkat?” He whispered, the troll beside him growled softly, “I know this is selfish of me to ask but…do you think you could just stay with me today? Don’t leave me alone.”

Karkat pulled him closer, “Of course. I’ll stay as long as you need.” He pressed his forehead to John’s back and made a low purr. In troll culture this noise was a soothing one, but he didn’t know if it worked on humans. He felt John relax a bit and uncurl. “Do you want me to tell anyone else to come over?”

“N-No. I don’t really want to be around people right now. I’m not the only one who has lost someone; I don’t want to bother them with my troubles. Just, stay with me, ok?” 

Karkat rubbed small circles in his back and sat with him while he cried softly for the father he had lost. “You know…I was the one who killed my Lusus.” John rolled over and looked at him. “Yeah, because of me the explosion that collapsed a portion of my house happened. The floor fell on Crabdad, he didn’t do anything, he was just being a good Lusus. Aradia said it was going to happen no matter what I did to try to stop it. But I still feel responsible, and I still feel like it was all my fault.”

John sat up with Karkat and leaned on him. “M-My dad, every year for his birthday…I’d bake him a cake. It was nice because he would do all the cooking and baking every day, except for that one day.” John sniffed again as tears threatened to escape his eyes. “It didn’t matter how bad the cake was or if it was even cake shaped at all. He would smile and tell me-“ he let out another choked sob, “he would tell me how p-proud he was of me.” Karkat pushed the boys head into his neck and let him cry. “I wanted to bake him a cake today…but I could bring myself to.” His breathing had evened out and he wasn’t shaking as badly.

“Hey John,” Karkat said after a while, “would be ok if I grabbed something to eat? From the kitchen?” 

He rubbed his eyes and nodded, “Sure help yourself.”

Karkat got up carefully and entered the kitchen. He found a small note on the counter with instructions on how to bake a cheese cake. In the fridge and cupboards he quickly obtains everything on the list then shoots a few messages to Kanaya and Rose. He put everything in his sylladex and returned to John’s room. “Hey,” he said quietly, John went back to the curled up position he was previously in. He looked up, eyes puffy from crying. “I need to go somewhere, but I’ll be back, is that ok?” John nodded. “I’ll leave the door unlocked and come back as soon as I can.” He walked over and tossed a small blanket over John’s shivering body.

It hurt to leave him, but he hoped what he had in mind would cheer him up. He took the baking goods straight to the home that Kanaya and Rose shared. It was a small place not too far down the road. Karkat could easily jog there in minutes. He wanted to do something for John, something that would make him smile, so he figured he’d bake the cake that the boy couldn’t do himself. The only major flaw in that idea was that he couldn’t bake, at all. Hopefully, either Kanaya or Rose could. Both of them sounded enthusiastic over trollian. 

Their house was organized and neat, the lawn tidy and the inside matched. “Hello Karkat,” Kanaya greeted, “nice to have you finally over.” 

“Yeah sorry I never visit…” Karkat trailed off, he didn’t have a decent excuse to why he hadn’t been around much. 

He set the ingredients and the instructions down on the table. “So, you guys can help me, right?”

“Oh of course Karkat,” Rose said walking into the kitchen. “You said this was a cake for John right? Finally going to make a move on him?” She winked at him before turning around to grab some mixing bowls. 

“N-No, not yet.” Karkat wasn’t even sure how she knew he liked the windy boy, “It’s his dad’s birthday today.” He heard the audible ‘oh’ come from Rose, “He wanted to make a cake to celebrate, it was a tradition they had, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. So instead I decided to. But I haven’t told him yet, it’s a surprise.” 

Rose straightened up and placed the bowls on the table as well. “Then we better make sure this is a good cake.” She then proceeded to help Karkat with the basics of baking.

Meanwhile back at John’s the familiar feeling of abandonment was settling over the boy still holed up in his room. Karkat had left hours ago and still hadn’t come back. He sighed and grabbed his pillow, hugging it tightly to his chest. “He said he’d be back…” John sniffed and forced the fresh tears not to flow. “He probably was just sick of me moping around.” He bit his bottom lip and shut his eyes tight. He tried not to think about his friend leaving him, or any thought about his dad. One breakdown just ended, he didn’t want to kick start another one so soon. 

The phone ringing jolted him out of his thoughts. He reached for the phone and answered it.

“Oh, hey Karkat,” John prepared for some excuse on why he wasn’t coming back today.

John sounded awful, like he just got done crying again, “Hey John, listen I’m going to be a little while longer, not too much more though.”

“You’re actually coming back?”

John’s voice on the other line seemed to be in disbelief, “Of course I am nookwhiff. What the hell kind of friend would just leave you alone crying like that? No one should have to be alone, trust me I know.” Before John could say anything Karkat finished and hung up the phone, “I’ll be back soon, that’s all you need to fucking know.” 

The troll turned to Rose, “This is taking longer than I had hoped. Will it at least be done soon?”

“Yes, Karkat relax.” She moved to the fridge and pulled out some strawberries. “Here, let’s make a sauce for that cake now.” Karkat nodded and helped her chop up berries and put them in a blender. “Karkat how much do you like John?” She smiled when his ears twitched and he looked over. “I take it you must care for him.”

“I…” He paused and looked away, “I really do like him. I may be an asshole on the computer, but he’s my friend.” 

She watched as his cheeks turned a bit red. “I’m sure he likes you too.”

Karkat laughed dryly, “Pft, yeah right. How many times have we heard him say ‘not a homosexual’? Too many for me to count.” He poured the fruit into a small container and sealed it. 

“Karkat I highly suggest reevaluating your friendleader and what you think he thinks. You may be wrong.” 

\---

Karkat had the cake safely tucked away in a box as he made his way back to John’s house. He opened the door and let himself in. Carefully he grabbed two plates and forks and knocked softly on John’s door. “Hey, can I come in?” He heard sniffling on the other side. Karkat opened the door and slipped in the room. He wrapped himself around John again, “I told you I’d come back.”

“Yeah…” He leaned against the troll, “what took you so long?”

“I was making you something.”

“Oh?” John turned around and faced him as the troll pulled out the small box. “A cheesecake?” Karkat nodded and opened the box. “No way, did you buy it?” Karkat shook his head, “But it looks so good.” Karkat laughed a bit and put an arm around John. 

“Sorry it took so long, I’m not very good at these things, I had some help.”

John was trembling slightly, “N-No it’s ok, thank you, that was really nice.”

Karkat could feel tears drip on his skin when John rested his head on his shoulder. “Shhhh it’s ok, John. I can’t stand to see you like this.”

“Thanks for keeping me company,” he mumbled.

“You know,” Karkat started softly, “I’d do anything for you.” He watched John look up into his eyes. “I hate seeing you depressed; I’d do anything to put a smile on your face. Because,” he paused to wipe a few tears that still slid down the humans face, “seeing you smile means the world to me.” 

“K-Karkat I don’t know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything.”

Slowly John moved towards Karkat and placed a small kiss on his cheek, he then returned to hugging the troll closely and burying his face in the folds of fabric. Karkat’s eyes widened a bit before he returned to rubbing John’s back. “John?” he questioned.

“Just…thank you, Karkat. You mean a lot to me too.” He was trembling a bit but his tears had ceased.

“John…can I ask how much I mean to you?” He shifted nervously, “Wait, fuck, that sounded weird, I guess I just wanted to know how you feel about me…is this pal-honcho stuff or…”

John pulled away blushed, red spreading across his cheeks. He could see red tint surfacing on Karkat’s face too. Neither of them said anything, there was a peaceful silence. Karkat moved slowly and put a hand on John’s face, gently moving his finger from under his eye down his face. “You should have a smile on this face John…” he murmured. “Never a frown.” Carefully he gently kissed the other boy on the lips.

Every part of him that was afraid and doubtful of John’s feelings died when he kissed back softly. Karkat broke away long enough to move the cake to the bedside table. When he turned back John was hugging him again and speaking softly. 

“I’m pretty sure that answers your question, right?”

Karkat pulled John into his chest and flopped over on the bed, he was smiling let out a small purr. “Yeah, it did.” 

John giggled at the new sound Karkat was making and curled up next to him. He had always thought trolls were strong, he felt safe wrapped in Karkat’s arms. Shifting a bit he kissed Karkat again quickly and asked, “Maybe next year, we can bake a cake together?” 

Karkat looked into John’s eyes, they were still puffy from crying, but the boy was smiling, for the first time that day he looked truly happy. “Of course, I’d love to.” 

Eventually after another kiss and a long time spent holding each other Karkat moved to the forgotten cake and cut a few slices out. They ate in silence, but they didn’t need words to communicate how happy they were. 

“I hope Dad is proud of me.” He said quietly, he tried to keep his voice strong.

“I’m sure he is. There’s no way he couldn’t be. You saved all of us.”

“Sometimes I just wonder though, if I did the right things during the game. I wonder if I could have saved him.”

Karkat set his plate down and pulled John in again, “I don’t know. There are too many alternate paths that could have taken, but in the end, you should just think about this one. You made so many people happy John, if it wasn’t for you, we’d all be dead and floating around in dream bubbles somewhere. It’s because of you we are able to live, and because of you we have a chance to mourn the dead.” John nodded slowly. “I don’t know who wouldn’t be proud of a son who managed to do that.”

John leaned against the troll and nodded. 

“Dying is relatively easy; it’s living that’s hard.”

John listened to the troll’s words. “At least I have you to help me now, right?”

Karkat smiled again rested his head on John’s. “Of course. I’ll always be here for you.”

Time passes slowly, seconds tick by unnoticed by most as the days fall away. There are many days, days for sadness and days for joy. John understood this almost like he was the Heir of Time instead of Breath. That night as he slept next to Karkat, feeling the troll breathe softly and the quiet rumbling purr that escaped his throat he realized that he could live no matter what happened. He knew he had Karkat. He had someone who would be there for him during his down days, and up. John kissed the sleeping troll again and closed his eyes.

‘Hey Dad,’ he said to himself. ‘Where ever you are, I hope you can see me. I’m happy, and I’m going to continue to make you proud, ok? Because I know you cared about me, and I cared about you. So, watch over me and maybe Karkat too? I know you’d be proud of him as well. And…’ even his thoughts paused as he choked back a sob, ‘I’m proud of you too. I love you, Dad.’


End file.
